You say it best… when you say nothing at all.

So I thought I’d do something a little different this week and go through some things that people said when they were trying to cheer me up/ support me/ make me feel better. Now don’t get me wrong, I appreciate the sentiment but most of the time it just made me feel shit and sometimes invalidated my feelings.

A comment I often got was “it could have been so much worse”. Well, albeit this is true… but it also could have been a lot better or never happened at all. This made me feel shit because it made me feel like I shouldn’t be feeling what I am because I was ‘lucky’. I should be grateful that I went to Australia and all I got was this lousy scar. Because other people had it worse meant I shouldn’t be feeling shit about myself. But actually, for me, in my life, my face, I think it’s pretty fucking bad.

Another comment was “I’ve never noticed it/ you can’t really see it” and other variations. Now I never believed people when they said this. Especially before I got my eyebrow fixed as they were SO wonky. Fair enough, people might’ve gotten used to it but I don’t believe they never noticed it in the first place. Perhaps this was me being paranoid, but I don’t think so. Especially when others would outright ask what happened… “oh yeah it’s not noticeable” 🙄 and the fact I have an actual dent in my head.

One which really actually pisses me off is when people think it’s “cool”. Nope. Can’t wrap my head around that one (although I can wrap it around a pole… 😂 gotta take the jokes where you can guys). Someone feel free to explain why they think it’s cool but things I think are cool are poppers (the trousers before you start thinking crude thoughts!), Gossip Girl, cosy pyjamas, penguins and anything pink. Not scars. On my face. That ruin my eyebrow. Perhaps I’m being pedantic and negative but it is a comment where I’m like “urgh… please”. But yes, I’d love comments on this one… make me see why it’s ‘cool’.

I understand that all these people who said these things are being nothing but supportive and I shouldn’t be moaning about them. But, in the words of the great Ronan Keating, you say it best when you say nothing at all. I think, for me anyway, it would have been better to just nod and be supportive. A shoulder to cry on and a cuddle.

I guess my points in this post are for people supporting others through something like this. In the early days, then their emotions are all over the place and trying to come to terms with things, it sometimes does more harm than good trying to be positive. But this is the whole point of doing this. So someone can relate to me and understand they’re not alone. And I wish I’d had that kind of support. Everyone was lovely, but their understanding only went so far. I wanted to know that everything I felt was normal and that I wasn’t being dramatic or I wasn’t getting over it as quickly as I should have been. And that’s exactly it. EVERYTHING YOU FEEL IS NORMAL AND YOU’RE ALLOWED TO FEEL THAT WAY. It’s a personal thing and no one can tell you anything else. 💕