The Aftermath
So being in a hospital on the other side of the world was bizarre. I can’t really remember too much. The first night the kept waking me up to take my BP which was annoying… my lovely friends, Catherine, Adele and Sam sat with me even though I was knocked out on painkillers (and they brought a Dominos!). I needed an operation to take the glass out of my face and to basically sew me back up.
I remember they made me use a bedpan to pee in… I was so embarrassed I demanded to use the actual toilet, but they told me I couldn’t as I was still VERRRRRY dizzy. I protested but they said it was either a bedpan or a catheter so that pretty much shut me up. They also had this cool shower cap thing that washed your hair without the need for any water.
I spent 4 days in a hospital in Bundaberg. On my last day I had an actual shower (although someone washed me and I was in a wheelchair) and this is when I seen my face for this first time without bandages and to say I broke down is an understatement. I wailed. It was BAD. My eyebrow had come clean off and was told it wouldn’t grow back. I had 2 black eyes and one was swollen shut. But my actual wound was red, bleeding and missing several layers of skin.
I left and had a 6 hour journey back to Brisbane. I couldn’t go back to a hostel so stayed with 2 girls I worked with and their 2 French flatmates. I was so so dizzy and couldn’t get out of bed, I could barely make it to the toilet! It was then I had my first shower/ washed my hair. Then came the second shock… my hair was falling out. In clumps. Luckily I have quite thick hair but as a woman to have your eyebrow come off and your hair fall out is devastating, at least for me. Thankfully I had no bald patches, but my hair got very thin. Basically all I did for 2 weeks was lie in bed and watch films. Maddie, one of the girls I lived with, left me food each morning before she went to work bless her.
A disgusting yet satisfying thing was that my hair was so full of dried blood that it stopped me picking at my face… this was a good thing, trust me! But that 2 weeks was tough. Here I was, the other side of the world, living with and relying on people I’d known only a matter of days and not able to do a thing. I couldn’t fly for 6 weeks as I’d had a mini haemorrhage and had a hairline fracture on my skull. So I couldn’t even go home to recover. I’ve never felt so stuck. But I had no choice but to get through it and get on with it. The dizziness was the worst though… even lying still I could get dizzy. It was such a horrible feeling. And I had to put this stuff on my wound and it actually just gave me the boke. It was minging having to touch this raw flesh. I won’t go into any more details but there was all sorts of shit coming out my forehead… not my most glamorous time.
My pals Nicole and Natalie came to visit me which I was so thankful for as I had MAJOR FOMO of hostel life. Seeing the snapchats of all the goon drinking was hard for me when I could barely drink a glass of water to take my tablets. It was a good distraction having them come visit me. Most of the days I was on my own and when I was sleeping I just had a film and my own thoughts: would anyone fancy me again? Will I ever find a husband? I’m damaged goods now… Why would anyone want me when they could have someone with a flawless face? How bad am I going to look for the rest of my life? I’d already been bullied for my looks so this is just great…! Will I ever feel confident again? Is there anything I could do to get rid of it? Will people stare? How do I draw on an eyebrow? Would it even be worth it? WILL I EVER GET OVER IT?
Eventually the time came for Maddie and Catherine to go away and. I was going to be left with 2 French strangers and no way of being able to do things myself. I was in a predicament. So a chap I knew offered me to stay at his in Noosa. So I pulled together everything I had in me, and (with the help of Adele who schlepped across Brisbane) moved me and my shit to Noosa.
I spent the next couple of months there which I will go in to more detail about next time. I stayed with someone who I considered a friend but as it turns out he wasn’t the nicest, most confidence boosting human in the world so I won’t spend a lot of time mentioning him. But he was there for the next little while and he did give me a place to stay when I needed it so for that I am grateful.